erin o face.

dexter is on.

this show just gets better and better. with an insane john leithgow who drops c-bombs, how could it not?

i've decided

to not post that much personal stuff anymore. it only leads to trouble. so, yeah, pretty pictures and things that are peculiar to me. the end.

rambling

chach:

All I want is my pictures to mean something.

All I want is to have that insane connection with the models and the surroundings that I used to have when I took pictures with my shitty 100 dollar film camera.

All I want each week is to feel that good, to know that I have to do it, to know that I have to do something meaningful and beautiful.

I think this school has made me grow in that- now I know what a pointless picture is. 

A pointless picture is one that is a little piece of an idea but not the big picture.

The picture I want to take is every element of my mind combined into one big picture, the composition is very important, the props, the lighting, the words used.

I arrive to the location hours and hours before.  Sadly, usually it does not appear so.

I sit there and think about what I’m trying to say, and if it will mean anything to anyone besides me.

I want to have the viewers hearts be eaten up and spit out into their faces.

I want to evoke empathy.

I also want to present a well rounded picture that makes sense, and there has to be an element of uneasiness.

There has to also be something occuring somewhere in the picture that is amazing.

Saying that, I know I have not done any of those things ever.

It kills me.

It’s what I try for every weekend.

I keep thinking, if I lived in california with my car, I’d go to the wildest locations and have all the resources in the world.

The fact that I’m confined to dragging the profoto kit around the couple blocks around broad street, has been such a challenge to be creative and maybe that has been a good thing.

Who knows what I will do with a q flash and a camera with a car someday.

my pictures have just become confusing, and lacking depth because maybe I’m confused and.. sometimes I think to myself ahhh I DONT WANT TO GO THERE

I’m trying harder to stretch the limits

I have so much to say,  and I’m trying to say it, but I don’t want to expose myself too much- but I have to….

I hope I don’t blow my senior thesis.

I just want so bad for it to mean something

to somebody.

chach, i feel you, babe. this school confuses us more than it does good sometimes. let’s just hang in a little longer and we’ll be just fine.